Relationships are a wonderful thing – there is so much love, so much care, so much support – and aren’t those things something that all of us need deep inside, regardless of what we might be showing on the outside?
But we’re talking about healthy relationships here, where partners respect each other and they respect and accept each other’s personalities above all. But sometimes, relationships can get toxic without us even realizing it because you love that person and you’re willing to accept more things coming from them than you are from anyone else.
This kinda comes naturally, but you can always take a step back and see if there is something utterly wrong with your relationship – and if there is – and these are the signs – then, I have some bad news for you: It’s bad for you, for your health, even for your body, because your mental state affects your physical state – and it’s just about (or way past the) time to end it.
1. Emotional Or Verbal Abuse
Even if he’s not hurting you physically, but calls you names and makes you feel ashamed of yourself, he’s abusing you. That’s emotional abuse and no healthy relationship includes it. An emotionally abusive partner may also give you manipulative comments that will me you question yourself or your looks, he might be controlling, he might be forbidding you things, and can really have a massive effect on your self-esteem.
Never, under any circumstances, no matter how much you love him, NEVER let something like that happen without any consequences – the consequences being you walking OUT. THAT. DOOR.
2. Physical Abuse
Needless to say, your momma didn’t carry you for 9 months, raised you the best she could, so that some s.o.b can raise a hand on you. You’re not his property and you do not deserve that – no matter what you’ve done (or haven’t done) to trigger it. Physical abuse has no justification – ever. There actually IS that guy waiting for you out there to find him who actually will treat you like the princess you are.
3. Body Shaming
Your body belongs only to you – not to your partner, not to your society, not to your surroundings. Only you have the right to feel comfortable or uncomfortable in it and to make changes on it. No one and I mean ABSOLUTELY no one has the right to body-shame you if you actually like your body. Never tolerate that, that’s just one step less than emotional abuse.
4. Not Respecting Your Career
Regardless of how great or small it is, regardless of how much you get paid or make, your career is something you’ve worked hard on and no one has the right to criticize it or disrespect it. Your career is your baby. And besides, your career is not gonna wake up one day and tell you that they’ve met someone else.
Gaslighting is a term coined to describe when someone tries to convince you that you’re wrong or crazy when they know you’re not. Pay close attention to see if your partner is saying that ‘it was a joke’ or that ‘you’re making all of that up’ more often that it should. He might just be a gaslighter.
6. Not Respecting Your Boundaries
You have the right to set up your own boundaries in your relationship, as well as in life, and everyone needs to respect those boundaries – and your partner is no exception here. Don’t think that just because you’re together he has the right to cross your boundaries – don’t humiliate yourself like that.
You want to wear a cleavage? Go ahead. You want to wear a short skirt? Go right ahead. If you feel comfortable that way, there is no one on this planet that has the right to tell you otherwise. You don’t tell your partner how to dress to be accepted by society – because our society only judges women. Get rid of that person right away, do yourself a favor.